A RUSSIAN INVENTED SELF-DRIVING HORSE-PROTOTYPE THAT MADE ELON MUSK TO COMMENT “WHAT THE HECK”
TAMBOV, RUSSIA – Russia’s Ministry of Alternative Transportation officials proudly declared that an ordinary Russian drunkard, Ivan Ivanov from Tambov oblast, had outpaced Elon Musk and Tesla in the self-driving vehicle race.
The secret to Ivan’s success? Not advanced AI or futuristic algorithms, but something far more organic, may be a rather primitive solution: a horse.
The newly unveiled “Equestrian-Autopilot” system uses just a horse harnessed to a traditional carriage retrofitted with a dashboard, cup holders, and the occasional loose wire.
Russian officials emphasise that this approach is fully eco-friendly, offers zero emissions, an unmatched off-road capability, and an undeniable charm.
“We’ve beaten Elon Musk, fair and square,” declared Yuri Trotsky, the head engineer of Russia’s Ministry of Alternative Transportation. “Our vehicle is not only fully autonomous but also eco-friendly. Plus, it does not even need GPS at all – the horse always finds its way back home.”
Trotsky also revealed that their prototype horse has undergone special training to navigate urban traffic, avoiding potholes and street vendors with uncanny accuracy. A prototype was reportedly spotted in Moscow, where it successfully avoided angry Russian babushkas.
Critics argue that Russia’s “self-driving” solution isn’t exactly a technological marvel, but state officials remain unfazed. “Do Tesla’s cars know when to stop for a carrot break?” quipped Dmitry Ivanov, Russia’s top automotive analyst.
“And if you think electric charging is convenient, wait until you see how quickly a bale of hay refuels our system!” The analyst also hinted at future upgrades, including automatic oat dispensers.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk took to Twitter, initially posting “What the heck?!” before later congratulating Russia for its “retro chic” innovation.
In response, Yuri Trotsky, the head engineer of Russia’s Ministry of Alternative Transportation, announced that the next step in the program is to adapt their system for space exploration. “Mars rovers are nice,” Trotsky said, “but Mars stallions? That’s the future!”
* Image: X.com