NUUK, GREENLAND – Greenland has reportedly begun a rapid military buildup in response to rumored annexation threats by President-elect President Donald Trump.
While military escalations typically involve tanks, planes, and troops, Greenland’s strategy is as unique as its arctic landscape: a snowman army, consisting of several million snowmen. The Greenland’s snowman army is known as Frosty Forces.
Every citizen is giving his share for Frosty Forces
Sources in Nuuk confirm that construction of the Frosty Forces is well underway, with citizens of all ages donating mittens and scarves to contribute to the national defense.
“We’ve mobilized all available snow,” said Prime Minister Múte Bourup Egede, standing next to a towering, carrot-nosed commander-in-chief snowman. “Our strategy is simple: overwhelm them with sheer numbers and icy resolve.”
Greenland hopes the US invasion taking place only during wintertime
Greenland has also issued a formal statement urging the United States to initiate any invasion attempts during winter, as their military is entirely seasonal. “We firmly believe that if an annexation attempt occurs in summer, our forces may experience severe operational challenges,” a government spokesperson explained, gesturing toward a melting snowman holding what appeared to be a broomstick rifle.
Critics, however, question the durability of Greenland’s snowman forces against modern weaponry. “They lack mobility and crumble under fire,” noted one skeptical defense analyst. But locals remain optimistic. “No one’s ready for this level of cold-hearted defense,” said 12-year-old soldier-in-training Erik Petersen, while skillfully sculpting a snowball grenade.
Greenland continues to stockpile snow and carrots, vowing to defend its icy sovereignty with everything it’s got—or until spring.
* Image: X.com