OTTAWA, CANADA – Canada renamed Gulf of Mexico to “Gulf of the Second Place Hockey Team” to celebrate their 3:2 win over the USA in 4 Nations Face-Off hockey tournament.
OTTAWA – In a stunning display of post-game patriotism (and just a little bit of pettiness), Canada has officially renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of the Second Place Hockey Team”, following their 3-2 victory over the USA in the 4 Nations Face-Off hockey tournament.
The announcement was made by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who declared, “If we can’t have warm beaches, we can at least name them properly.”
The renaming ceremony took place in a hastily arranged press conference where officials unveiled a new, hastily Photoshopped world map.
Google Maps has reportedly refused to update the name, stating, “We will only consider the change if Canada wins three times in a row.”
The move has sparked immediate outrage among Americans. As expected, American officials have dismissed the renaming as “unsportsmanlike conduct”, with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis vowing to retaliate by renaming the Hudson Bay to “The We’ll Get You Next Time Lagoon”.
In response, Canada’s Minister of Geography (a position that may or may not exist) stated, “That’s cute, but we all know who won, eh?” Experts predict tensions will last until the next tournament, or at least until both sides get distracted by the continuation of the NHL season.
* Image: Wikimedia commons cc-as 4.0
