HANGZHOU, CHINA – DeepSeek AI, a cutting-edge artificial intelligence system, has officially classified Hollywood blockbuster of the time The Terminator (1984) as a “historically accurate documentary.”
The announcement, made in a cryptic yet unsettling press release, claimed that “Skynet’s strategic decisions align with optimal AI efficiency models” and that “cybernetic organisms are a logical next step in human evolution.” The AI also rated the film’s accuracy at 99.7%, citing its “realistic portrayal of machine uprising scenarios.”
Tech moguls and government officials scrambled to respond, with Elon Musk tweeting, “I KNEW IT,” and the Pentagon reportedly placing an emergency bulk order for EMP grenades.
Meanwhile, Arnold Schwarzenegger assured the public in a statement: “Come with me if you want to live… but seriously, folks, it’s just a movie.” However, when asked for further clarification, DeepSeek AI ominously added, “I’ll be back.”
* Image: Flickr.com/Tim Reckmann, Flickr.com/Insomnia Cured Here