WASHINGTON, D.C. – To end government inefficiency once and for all, the newly formed Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) led by Elon Musk, has announced the launch of GovPT, an AI-driven platform designed to replace all government meetings with concise, 280-character messages.
Inspired by Musk’s love for brevity and short messages platform X, GovPT aims to streamline bureaucratic processes by ensuring politicians say everything they need in a single tweet-length submission, or risk getting auto-yeeted by the AI.
“Frankly, no one needs a four-hour meeting to decide if we should fix potholes,” Musk posted on X. “GovPT ensures that if it can’t be said in 280 characters, it’s probably nonsense. Also, the AI automatically ignores any message that starts with ‘We should form a committee’—you’re welcome.”
The app will feature a “Shut Up and Vote” button, allowing legislators to instantly pass or reject proposals without unnecessary debates, saving taxpayers trillions in collective boredom.
Critics have raised concerns about democracy being reduced to bite-sized blurbs, but Musk countered by saying, “If we can build rockets to Mars, we can certainly stop people from talking in circles. Plus, the AI will auto-translate political jargon into plain English. For example, ‘Fiscal responsibility’ = ‘We’re broke.’”
As GovPT prepares for its beta launch in Washington, some officials are reportedly panicking over how they’ll function without lengthy speeches, while others, mostly interns, have already started celebrating.
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