WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump, who is the official babysitter for Elon Musk’s young son, X Æ A-12, was yesterday playing with the toddler the whole day long.
According to sources from the White House close to the President, Trump took the opportunity to pass down his legendary business acumen, reading excerpts from “The Art of the Deal” as a bedtime story. “It’s the best book, tremendous book,” Trump reportedly told the toddler before reading it to him.
After struggling to get the child to sit still, Trump pivoted to an unconventional teaching method: a high-stakes negotiation exercise involving a stuffed bear, a stuffed dinosaur, and a fluffy koala. “You gotta know when to walk away,” Trump instructed, as X Æ A-12 attempted to barter the bear for an imaginary moon colony.
“This is what I call ‘The Trump Method’ – you start big, demand the whole toy box, then settle for just the best ones. It’s what we call winning,” the President stated.
Sources claim that the very first lesson was not a major success. X Æ A-12 was tossing the stuffed bear across the room and declaring, “No deal!” Later Trump praised toddler’s move as “strong, very powerful, almost as good as I would do.”
Musk, arriving later to collect his son, was reportedly unfazed by the experience, commenting, “This is just great! He must learn.”
White House staff, meanwhile, were left to clean up the aftermath, which included a toppled bookshelf, a half-eaten Happy Meal, and an enthusiastic toddler repeatedly shouting, “You’re fired!” at a portrait of Abraham Lincoln.
* Image: X.com