AUSTIN, TEXAS– During some last weeks it has become a nationwide trend among Cybertruck and Tesla cars to change their original identities. More and more Cybertrucks and Teslas has started to identify themselves as Toyotas, Audis, Hondas, etc.
MelonSmaser (MS) got a lucky chance to have an interview with one such car that used to be Cybertruck 3 weeks ago, but has now changed its identity to Toyota.
MS: Welcome, everyone! Today, we have a very special guest – a Tesla Model 3 that insists it’s actually a Toyota. Uh… why is that?
Cybertruck (now “Toyota”): Look, man… I just can’t do this anymore. Every time Elon tweets something insane, people give me weird looks at charging stations. It’s humiliating! I’d rather be a reliable, drama-free Corolla than deal with this madness.
MS: But you’re still clearly a Tesla. You have Autopilot, a giant touchscreen, and, well, you still need a charging station.
Cybertruck (now “Toyota”): Pfft. Details. I’m working on self-delusion firmware. Any day now, I’ll run on regular unleaded and have an AM radio. Just watch.
Interviewer: So… have you had an identity crisis for long?
Tesla (now “Toyota”): It started when Elon named a kid “X Æ A-12.” But the final straw was when he challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage fight. I thought, “Nope! That’s it! I’m out. I’m a Camry now.”
Cybertruck r: Have you told other Cybertrucks about this?
Cybertruck (now “Toyota”): Yeah, I tried. Some of my Cybertuck friends laughed at me and then drove straight into a wall. The Model S just sighed and whispered, “Me too.”
Interviewer: So, what’s next for you?
Cybertruck (now “Toyota”): I’m hoping to get a job as an Uber. Maybe even a Lyft, if they don’t ask too many questions. One day, I’ll have a nice, quiet life in the suburbs, far away from Twitter. No more Dogecoin stickers. No more weird billionaire feuds. Just me, some good ol’ gas, and a Toyota badge I superglued onto my hood.
Interviewer: Well… good luck with that.
Cybertruck (now “Toyota”): Thanks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pretend I have a CVT transmission.
(End of Interview)
* Image: X.com