PARIS, FRANCE – The French government held a press conference today declaring that their support of the American colonies during the Revolutionary War against the Great Britain was never a “gift of liberty,” but rather a high-interest loan.
French President Emmanuel Macron claimed that, adjusted for inflation, interest, and general inconvenience, the United States now owes France a staggering $150 trillion.
“Franklin signed the papers,” Macron insisted, holding up what appeared to be a wine-stained napkin with “IOU” scribbled on it.
The French Finance Minister elaborated that the loan’s terms were “flexible”, but after more than two centuries of non-payment, they felt it was time to collect. “We were patient,” she said. “But then we saw the U.S. spending billions on space lasers and gold-plated toilets.
“We thought, ‘Mon Dieu, if they can afford hiring of billionaires to work for the government, it is time to settle their tab.’”
Paris has reportedly sent an invoice to Washington with the due date marked “ASAP”.
Historians worldwide are frantically flipping through 18th-century documents, and economists are nervously calculating how many baguettes it would take to cover the debt.
The United Nations has called for calm, while Canada offered to mediate, as long as they don’t have to pay for anything.
* Image: Picryl.com