MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Russian President Vladimir Putin and the Kremlin issued an official statement regarding Tulsi Gabbard’s appointment as the next U.S. Director of National Intelligence.
Smiling Putin commented on the appointment very shortly: “Taking over the U.S. is going a lot smoother than taking over Ukraine.”
“Look, we’ve been at this Ukraine thing for 3 years already, and all we got was a bunch of burnt-out tanks and flatten-down-to-earth cities,” an anonymous Kremlin official reportedly said.
“Meanwhile, in America, we just drop a few well-placed interviews, run a couple of Facebook ads, and next thing you know – boom! Our favourite people are in charge of intelligence.”
Putin himself allegedly chuckled at the comparison, sighing, “If only Kyiv folded this easily.”U.S. officials have dismissed the Kremlin’s remarks as the latest in a series of Russian misinformation campaigns. Meanwhile, Putin has reportedly instructed his advisors to take notes on Gabbard’s strategy, as it appears “significantly more cost-effective” than the military option.
* Image: Pixabay.com/DimitroSevastopol