WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House reports that President Trump has reportedly received from Russian president Vladimir Putin a handwritten thank-you note this week, expressing his “deepest appreciation” for Trump’s continued commitment to keeping the Kremlin fully updated on U.S. intelligence, whether intentional or not.
The note, adorned with a small cartoon bear waving a Russian flag, thanked Trump for his “ongoing transparency” and included a postscript offering of “bottles of Russian vodka” at Moscow’s finest dacha.
“Dearest Donald,” the note began, according to unnamed White House administration sources. “Your dedication to international information sharing is unparalleled. Who needs Wikileaks when we have you?”
Putin reportedly signed off with a smiley face, a winking emoji, and a gentle reminder to “say hi to Melania.”
Trump, upon receiving the letter, took to Truth Social to declare it “the nicest letter anyone has ever written,” adding that “President Putin is a very strong, very smart man, probably the strongest, and he writes beautifully.”
Trump then posted a picture of himself holding the note upside down, captioned: “GREAT HONOR! AMERICA FIRST (SOME EXCEPTIONS).”
U.S. intelligence officials declined to comment, though one anonymous source was overheard muttering, “At this point, we’re just impressed they’re using stationery.”
*Image: Flickr.com/Gage Skidmore