MOSCOW, RUSSIA – In a heartwarming display of unwavering dedication to peace, Russia has spent yet another day tirelessly bombing Ukrainian cities, ensuring that the message of harmony is delivered with maximum explosive force.
According to Kremlin officials, the continuous missile strikes on residential areas, hospitals, and playgrounds are actually part of a “special peacekeeping operation” aimed at making Ukraine the safest place on Earth by removing anything that could possibly be unsafe.
A Russian government spokesperson reassured the world that these attacks are simply a misunderstood gesture of goodwill. “You see, we love Ukraine so much that we’re trying to help them rebuild from scratch,” he explained, while standing in front of a map where Ukraine was mysteriously labeled “Western Russia.”
Experts agree that nothing screams ‘we want peace’ quite like missile barrages and drone swarms ensuring that no civilian goes unprotected, by systematically removing them from the equation.
Meanwhile, Russian state media reports that Ukrainian civilians are overjoyed by these daily bombings, with footage of destroyed homes being described as “urban renewal efforts.”
One particularly optimistic Russian journalist even suggested that the lack of electricity and running water in Ukrainian cities is proof that Russia is helping Ukraine achieve an environmentally friendly, carbon-neutral future.
As the world watches in shock, the Kremlin remains confident that the more bombs it drops, the clearer its peaceful intentions become. Peace is coming—one missile at a time.
* Image: Wikimedia commons cc-4.0
