WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has reportedly proposed returning Alaska to Russia as a “tremendous, absolutely fantastic gift” to his longtime pal, Vladimir Putin.
Speaking with reporters, Trump declared, “Look, folks, we bought Alaska for, what, $7 million? That was a terrible deal. Russia wants it back, and quite frankly, I think it’s the greatest proof of friendship in the history of friendships – maybe even better than a birthday card.”
Trump insisted that Alaska is “very cold, very icy, frankly too big,” and that Americans “aren’t even using most of it.” He reassured his supporters that America has plenty of other states, great states, like Florida, which is warm and beautiful, unlike Alaska, which is cold and full of bears.
When asked about the Alaskan population, Trump suggested they could be relocated to a very nice resort, maybe a golf course, they’ll figure it out.
The proposal has sparked confusion, outrage, and disbelief across the political spectrum, with many pointing out that the United States has owned Alaska since 1867.
However, Trump remained confident, stating, “Putin loves me, I love Putin. If I give him Alaska, maybe he gives me a nice hotel in Moscow, who knows? Great things could happen, folks. The best things.”
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