WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has reportedly floated a new “win-win” proposal: trading California for Greenland.
“Look, it’s a great deal, the best deal,” Trump said, commenting on his latest proposal. “We’ve got plenty of hot places already – Arizona, Nevada, Florida. Denmark has no such places. We got too much heat! We need more cold places. Greenland is very cold. Free air conditioning. It’s perfect. But California? It is Overrated. Earthquakes, wildfires, and way too much traffic.”
Trump explained that the trade isn’t just about climate control. “Have you seen the numbers? Too many Latinos in the U.S. now. Nothing wrong with them, they’re fantastic, but we’ve got enough. Denmark, though? They have almost no Latinos there in Denmark! Tremendous opportunity to balance things out,” he said.
Trump added, “Plus, Greenland has a lot of ice. Ice is very valuable. California doesn’t even have enough water. We’re trading drought for glaciers, folks!”
While Danish officials have yet to comment on the proposal, sources close to the President claim he is confident the deal will go through. “The Danes are smart. They’ll see how much they gain. They get Hollywood, Disneyland, and all the wine in Napa. They’ll love it.”
Trump also suggested that Denmark would get “a little extra,” proposing to throw in New Jersey “as a signing bonus.”
* Image: dig.watch / flickr.com