LOS ANGELES, CA – Major Hollywood studios have collectively decided to suspend production of new fiction films for the next six months, citing an “unfair competitive disadvantage” posed by the surreal developments of the Trump-era political scene.
Studio executives claim they are struggling to create story-lines that can rival the sheer absurdity of real-life headlines.
“We just can’t keep up,” said Linda Marshall, a senior executive at Paramount Pictures. “Last week, our writers pitched a sci-fi comedy where a billionaire fakes his own mugshot and then sells it on t-shirts. Two days later, it actually happened! What’s the point? Reality is out-writing us!”
The decision comes as audiences have increasingly turned away from scripted entertainment in favor of 24/7 cable news and social media updates.
Streaming platforms have also reported a sharp drop in viewership of scripted dramas, with some users admitting they find it hard to focus on shows about fictional conspiracies when they can just log onto Twitter and follow live tweets by president Donald Trump, eccentric billionaire Elon Musk, and others alike.
Hollywood insiders are calling this the “Trump Effect” on storytelling. “We’ve got writers’ rooms full of people trying to dream up dystopias, but nothing tops real-life footage of world leaders debating foreign policy via memes,” lamented a Netflix producer. “At this point, we’re just going to rebrand as documentary filmmakers.”
Studio executives hinted that the hiatus might extend indefinitely if the Trump’s administration proves to be as “mind-bogglingly unpredictable” as it promises. Until then, Hollywood’s best advice to aspiring screenwriters: “Just read the news. The plot twists write themselves.”
* Image: Pixabay.com / Flickr.com/Gage Skidmore