WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials explained that the ongoing government shutdown was not a budget dispute, but rather a “generous vacation package” for federal workers.
According to the administration, the move was intended to reward employees for “six grueling months of Making America Great Again,” following the start of President Trump’s second term.
One aide described the decision as “an innovative form of paid time off – minus the pay.”
Press Secretary spokespeople reassured the public that there was no cause for alarm. “The government is not broken,” they insisted. “It’s just taking a nap. After all, MAGA 2.0 has been exhausting for everyone, and our federal workers deserve some me-time. We considered gift cards, but nothing says appreciation like shutting down an entire country.”
When asked how long the “vacation” might last, officials were vague.
“We’re thinking anywhere from two weeks to indefinitely, depending on how refreshed everyone feels,” one staffer said. “Think of it like America’s version of a sabbatical — except with more angry phone calls to your congressman and fewer paychecks.”
Critics have called the plan reckless, but the White House insists morale is soaring.
“Workers now have plenty of time to visit national parks — if they weren’t locked, of course,” one official quipped. “Besides, if America is truly great, it should be able to run itself for a while. We’re just giving democracy a little spa day.”
*Image: AI-generated