THE FIRST WAVE OF POLITICAL REFUGEES IN RED SQUARE IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA
MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and his wife Asma have reportedly fled to Russia, claiming asylum as political refugees.
The Kremlin, known for its stoic demeanor, has reacted with a mixture of bemusement and paranoia, accusing the decadent West of orchestrating Assad’s arrival to undermine the stability of Russia’s pristine political landscape.
The announcement came early this morning when a visibly flustered Kremlin spokesperson confirmed the Assads’ arrival at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport. The Assads reportedly told immigration officers that they had come to Russia seeking safety and a new beginning.
Russian officials, however, were quick to label the move an intricate plot by NATO operatives disguised as humanitarian diplomacy.
“The timing of this so-called asylum request is highly suspicious,” said Dmitry Peskov, the press secretary for the Russian president. “It reeks of a Western attempt to infiltrate our country’s sovereignty. We are considering measures to ensure these foreign political refugees do not infect Mother Russia with bourgeois liberal values, like free elections.”
State media has already launched an aggressive campaign to frame the Assads’ arrival as a strategic masterstroke by President Vladimir Putin. “Russia is a beacon of hope for the oppressed,” declared one anchor on RT.
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