MOSCOW, RUSSIA – The Moscow Kremlin announced a live televised debate featuring five of Vladimir Putin’s alleged body doubles. The event, dubbed “Putin vs. Putin: The Ultimate Face-Off,” is set to take place ahead of a highly anticipated summit with former U.S. President Donald Trump.
The debate aims to determine which Putin will have the honor of shaking hands with Trump, as Kremlin insiders confirm that even the real Putin “might sit this one out just to keep things interesting.”
The doubles – each claiming to be the “most authentic” Putin – will engage in a heated discussion on key topics, including geopolitics, judo techniques, and who does the best bare-chested horse ride. Russian state TV has promised “unparalleled realism,” with each contestant attempting to out-Putin the others in a test of cold stares, cryptic one-liners, and strategic pauses.
Meanwhile, U.S. President Donald Trump has reportedly expressed excitement about the event, stating, “I always had great chemistry with one of those Putins, but five Putins? That’s tremendous, just tremendous.”
The Kremlin remains tight-lipped on whether any of the Putins will be real, but a spokesperson assured reporters, “In Russia, reality is just one of many options.”
The debate is hoped to be watched by millions of Russian simpletons. As one Russian commentator put it, “May the most Putin lookalike, or at least the most convincing one, prevail!”
* Image: gur.gov.ua