OTTAWA, CANADA – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced that Canada is open to discussing Donald Trump’s unexpected proposal to join the United State, but only on one condition that is absolutely non-negotiable: the resulting union must be renamed “Great Canada.”
“We appreciate Mr. Trump’s interest in forming a closer bond with our great nation,” Trudeau said during a press conference in Ottawa. “However, if Canada is going to join forces with the United States, it’s only fair that we emphasize our role as the world’s politest and most maple syrup-rich superpower. Hence, ‘Great Canada’ seems like the natural choice.”
Trump, never one to shy away from a branding challenge, reportedly responded with cautious optimism. “Great Canada. Sounds tremendous,” he told reporters at Mar-a-Lago, Florida. “I’ve always said Canada has great people, great hockey players, and the best maple syrup. We’ll see, folks. But the name… we’ll work on it. Maybe ‘Canada Plus.’ Something classy.”
While many Canadians greeted the proposal with tongue-in-cheek enthusiasm, others were quick to point out potential cultural clashes. “We’d have to integrate curling into the NFL season and replace Thanksgiving with a double-long weekend,” said one Canadian pundit.
Meanwhile, lot’s of Americans have expressed mixed feelings on social media, with some jokingly suggesting that Tim Hortons could replace Starbucks as the national coffee chain.
The discussions, still in their infancy, are expected to include debates over critical issues such as spelling standards (colour vs. color), acceptable levels of politeness, and whether the entire union should adopt universal healthcare.
* Image: flickr.com / CC-BY-4.0: © European Union 2022 – Source: EP