WASHINGTON, DC – Representatives of democrats lashed out at Donald Trump’s latest policy proposals, which include abolishing gender quotas in kindergartens, rolling back Hollywood diversity programs, and affirming the existence of only two genders.
“These policies are not just regressive; they’re an attack on the very fabric of our society,” one democrat declared. “Frankly, I consider them crimes against humanity – and I don’t say that lightly. Or often. Well, maybe often, but this time I mean it!”
Trump, who announced his agenda titled “Back to Basics: America 2.0,” claimed his policies were about returning to common sense and letting kindergartners focus on finger painting instead of filling quotas.
Democrats, however, dismissed his statements as “a thinly veiled assault on progress.” Democrats insist that kindergartens are the final frontier of equality and that diversity in Hollywood is what keeps the modern blockbusters watchable.
Democrats saved their sharpest accusations for Trump’s assertion that there are only two genders, calling it “the most outrageous piece of pseudoscience since flat Earth theory.”
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