ELON MUSK AND VIVEK RAMASWANY TO APPROVE THAT GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY MEANS 2 PERSONS DOING 1 PERSON’S JOB
WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that Donald Trump described as the most brilliant idea, maybe ever, the former president unveiled his plan for the new “Department of Government Efficiency” by appointing two high-profile billionaires – Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy – to share one job.
“It’s a two-for-one special, folks. Elon and Vivek, both tremendous guys, will be doing one person’s job. Incredible savings. We’re already winning,” Trump declared at a press conference held at Mar-a-Lago’s grand ballroom, where guests enjoyed mini hamburgers.
Trump explained that the job-sharing arrangement is a huge leap forward in cutting down waste. “Look, the government is bloated, and it’s sad. Sad! With this brilliant plan, we’re not doubling the work; we’re halving the waste,” he said, gesturing dramatically.
“Elon builds rockets. Vivek talks about biotech or something. Imagine what happens when you smash those together! Efficiency through synergy, people.”
Musk and Ramaswamy, appearing together via a split-screen Zoom call, seemed cautiously enthusiastic. Musk, wearing a T-shirt that read “I Am Efficiency”, did not comment Donald Trump’s announcement.
Meanwhile, Ramaswamy, dressed in a crisp suit, nodded confidently, adding, “We’ll be the most dynamic duo since Batman and Robin, except richer.”
Critics were quick to raise questions about the specifics of this new plan. Trump instantly waved off the inquiry. “Details are for losers. All you need to know is it’s a very important job, probably the most important job anyone’s ever done. And these two? They’ll do it better than anyone. Trust me!”
The president-elect also suggested that this could be the start of a trend. Trump said he considered if two people should run other institutions like the IRS, Department of Education, National Security Agency and others.
“We could cut staff by, like, 800%. Don’t ask me how the math works, but believe me, it does. It’s tremendous,” Trump said, sparking applause from the room.
* Picture: freemalaysiatoday.com