CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – American largest retailer Walmart starts to offer 30-year mortgage loans for customers wishing to purchase eggs, following an unprecedented spike in egg prices.
Once considered a humble breakfast staple, eggs have now reached luxury item status, with some cartons requiring credit approval and a down payment. Financial analysts say this is the biggest economic shock since the 2008 Financial Crisis.
Shoppers were left scrambling as prices sky-rocketed past $20 per dozen, forcing families to make tough financial decisions. “We were going to buy a house this year, but after seeing the egg prices, we figured we should secure a carton first,” said one shopper, clutching an application for Egg Loan Pre-Approval.
Meanwhile, Walmart employees have reportedly been trained to explain adjustable-rate egg mortgages and interest options to confused customers.
To sweeten the deal, Walmart is offering zero-percent APR on brown eggs and fixed-rate financing for cage-free options. However, those opting for organic eggs may need a co-signer or proof of income.
“This is just the beginning,” warned economist Dr. Yolko Ono. “By next year, eggs might come with HOA fees and closing costs.” Until then, Americans will have to decide: pay rent or make an omelet.
* Image: Pickpik.com