WASHINGTON, DC – The White House press service informed that before the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 47th president of the United States will take place on Monday, January 20, 2025, the current President Joe Biden will attend at a highly anticipated seminar “How Not to Fall Asleep at the Inauguration Ceremony” this week.
The seminar, hosted by the famous Wide Awake Institute, promises practical tips, caffeine strategies, and yawning-proof techniques to keep even the sleepiest attendees alert during momentous (or controversial) political events.
“Look, folks, it’s important,” Biden said with a chuckle during a press briefing. “You can’t be nodding off at historic moments, even if they’re, uh… unique. I’ve got my notepad ready, and Jill says she’ll bring the snacks.”
The seminar will feature keynote speakers including a former Starbucks barista, a professional alarm clock tester, and a Navy SEAL who specializes in staying awake during 48-hour missions.
Trump, reportedly amused by the news, quipped in a Truth Social post, “Sleepy Joe finally getting help! Should’ve started years ago, but I’ll take the win. Greatest seminar ever because it’s about ME!”
Whether the seminar will prove effective remains to be seen, but hopes are high. Sources claim Biden has already ordered a custom alarm set to play “Hail to the Chief”.
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