WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference marked by red-faced outrage, President Donald Trump announced sweeping new tariffs on all imported tortillas, after discovering that “TACO” has become a popular acronym for “Trump Always Chickens Out.”
“This is the worst insult in the history of insults,” Trump declared. “They’re calling me Taco now—T-A-C-O! It’s fake, it’s disgusting, and it’s clearly part of a globalist salsa agenda to undermine strong, manly leadership.”
“From now on, every tortilla entering this country will be hit with a 700% tariff—unless it’s from Mar-a-Lago Catering, which makes the best, most patriotic tortillas, believe me,” Trump added.
The tariff announcement immediately sent shockwaves through the Tex-Mex culinary industry, with Chipotle’s CEO issuing a panicked statement titled “Please No, Not the Quesadillas.”
Meanwhile, conservative talk shows leapt to Trump’s defense, with one host suggesting that “taco” is actually a woke slur created by the Biden administration’s Department of Linguistic Manipulation.
Despite backlash from taco truck owners nationwide, Trump remained defiant, later tweeting: “TACO = Total American Courage Overload. Nice try, haters. I never chicken out – I just strategically exit with strength.”
The tweet was followed by a photo of him giving a thumbs up next to an empty plate labeled “Taco Bowl – Finished Like a Winner.”
Image: X.com