COLUMBUS, OHIO – Skyrocketing egg prices have forced Americans to embrace a new Easter tradition – painting potatoes instead of eggs. With a dozen eggs now costing as much as a small used car (or at least a fancy latte), families across the country are rolling with the times and getting creative with spuds.
“It’s the same shape if you squint hard enough,” said Linda Thompson, a mother of three from Ohio. “Plus, if you mess up the design, you can still turn it into mashed potatoes.”
Grocery stores have taken notice, with some supermarkets now offering “Easter Egg-tatoes” – pre-boiled, smooth brown potatoes packaged with pastel paint. Meanwhile, potato farmers are basking in their newfound moment of fame.
“I’ve been selling potatoes for decades, but this is the first time someone’s asked me for extra smooth, egg-like ones,” said farmer Bill Jenkins. “Honestly, I don’t care what they do with them as long as they keep buying!”
Social media has erupted with people showing off everything from Picasso-inspired potato art to impressively detailed recreations of the Mona Lisa.
However, not everyone is thrilled. The National Association of Easter Bunnies (NAEB) released a statement expressing concern over the switch, claiming that hiding potatoes just doesn’t have the same thrill factor.
Despite the initial shock, many Americans are embracing their starchy new tradition. “Honestly, it’s kind of refreshing,” said one father, rolling a purple-painted potato across the lawn. “Plus, if the kids don’t find them all, at least they won’t rot in the yard like eggs do.”
* Image: thequake1021.com/Facebook.com