WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House has reportedly launched a top-secret search for a Donald Trump lookalike to participate in upcoming peace talks with a Vladimir Putin doppelgänger.
The strategy, dubbed “Clone Diplomacy,” aims to de-escalate tensions between Russia and Ukraine without involving the actual leaders, who have proven difficult to negotiate with in the past. Sources inside the administration claim that the White House sees no point sending “real Trump to meet fake Putin.”
According to insiders, the Trump lookalike must meet strict criteria: an ability to shout “Fake News!” on demand, a solid golf swing, and an orange-tinted complexion that can withstand harsh lighting.
Meanwhile, Russia has allegedly already selected their Putin stand-in – a former factory worker from near Omsk village who has been practicing his “icy death stare” in front of a mirror for weeks. The two lookalikes are expected to meet in a neutral location, possibly at a McDonald’s in Switzerland, where they will try to blend in among common customers.
Experts remain divided on the effectiveness of this strategy. Some believe that the Trump impersonator will spend most of the meeting talking about his “big, beautiful” negotiation skills, while the Putin double may insist on removing his shirt at random intervals. However, the White House remains optimistic, with one official stating, “If we can’t achieve world peace with the real guys, we might as well try their knockoffs.”
The world will watch in suspense as history prepares for what could be the most ridiculous diplomatic summit of all time.
* Image: Flickr.com/Gage Skidmore