MOSCOW, RUSSIA – The sources from Moscow Kremlin report that five alleged body doubles of Russian president Vladimir Putin were reportedly caught in a heated backstage argument over who should meet U.S. President Donald Trump in Alaska this Friday.
Eyewitnesses claim the debate began as a polite discussion but quickly devolved into a competitive shouting match over who had the “most authentic smirk” and “best bear-wrestling stance.”
According to sources, each double insisted they had a unique advantage. One bragged about his flawless eyebrow arch, another claimed superior judo skills, and the third argued that his “ice-cold stare” could melt sanctions faster than a Siberian snowflake in July.
The five allegedly compared shirtless horseback photos to prove who was most “Putin-like,” until a makeup artist had to step in to break them apart.
The Kremlin has neither confirmed nor denied the existence of multiple Putins, though an anonymous official admitted, “It’s not about deception, it’s about scheduling efficiency. One man can’t be everywhere at once – unless he’s Putin… or Putins.”
The official refused to say which one would attend the Alaska meeting, adding cryptically, “They’ll draw straws, but the straws are classified.”
Meanwhile, Trump has reportedly prepared for the encounter during summit. When asked if he was concerned about meeting a possible double, Trump replied, “Doesn’t matter. I’ll know it’s the real one if he beats me at arm wrestling. And if I win, maybe I’m Putin.”
* Image: X.com/@wartranslated