MINNEAPOLIS, MN – There has been a lot of confusion and speculations what kind of liquid was sprayed on U.S. Representative Ilhan Omar during a Minneapolis town hall on Tuesday. The incident sent shock-waves through the crowd, social media, and at least three local group chats that thrive exclusively on chaos.
Witnesses described confusion, mild dampness, and one guy loudly shouting that she “fully deserved it”.
Authorities confirmed the substance was quickly cleaned up, but declined to say what it was. With no official explanation, a vacuum formed, and was immediately filled by takes, theories, and a surprising number of beverage-based hypotheses.
Below is a non-exhaustive list of what the liquid could have been, according to people who have never been wrong online.
- Artisanal Cold Brew: Sourced locally, sprayed aggressively, and somehow still acidic.
- Melted Snow Emergency Reserve: Minneapolis keeps it on hand year-round, just in case.
- Gender-Neutral LaCroix Mist: Technically liquid, spiritually absent.
- Pure Democracy (Unfiltered): Extremely messy, stains everything, impossible to bottle.
- Leftover Hotdish Condensation: The most Minnesotan answer, honestly.
- Tears of Cable News Panels: Collected after a 12-hour debate segment.
- Concentrated “Thoughts and Prayers”: Non-toxic, ineffective, vaguely damp.
As investigations continue until officials gets bored.
At the same time officials urge the public not to jump to conclusions, lick random surfaces, or treat town halls like interactive theater.
*Image: YouTube.com/@PBSNewsHour