WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has revealed a fresh tattoo on the back of his right hand: a detailed map of Greenland.
According to aides, the ink was Trump’s own idea, after he reportedly kept forgetting which icy landmass he once attempted to purchase during his presidency.
“Now, every time I look at my hand, I remember Greenland – the best property deal that never happened. Tremendous ice, the best ice,” Trump told reporters.
Sources close to the president claim the tattoo artist tried to talk him into a discreet design, but Trump insisted on full geographic accuracy, complete with fjords, glaciers, and even a tiny dot labeled “Trump Resort (Future Site).”
He also requested that Greenland be colored gold, despite the artist’s protests that gold does not appear on most maps. Trump reportedly replied, “It will when I own it.”
Political analysts are divided on the tattoo’s implications. Some see it as a symbol of Trump’s enduring fixation with Greenland, while others believe it’s simply another attempt to dominate the news cycle.
“There’s a 50% chance he’s serious and a 50% chance he just wanted a conversation starter at golf clubs,” said one baffled commentator. “Either way, it’s classic Trump: impulsive, impractical, and somehow still hilarious.”
Meanwhile, the people of Greenland remain unfazed. One local fisherman told Danish media, “If he really wants Greenland, he should try living here through a winter first. Then he’ll be begging to trade the tattoo for a heated blanket.”
As for Trump, he has already hinted at expanding his cartographic body art. “Next up? The moon,” he declared. “Great location. Very exclusive. I’ll get a tattoo of it on my other hand. That way, when I shake hands, it’s the biggest real estate deal in history.”
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