WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an efficiency measure following the Trump administration’s rollback of DEI policies, the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) has been officially renamed the “Department of Portation” (DOP).
Officials say the change aligns with the administration’s commitment to eliminating anything that sounds remotely diverse, equitable, or inclusive – even if that just means dropping a few syllables.
“Frankly, ‘transportation’ had too much going on,” said newly appointed DOP Secretary Chet Bigtruck. “The ‘trans’ part? Confusing. The ‘port’ part? Solid, American, gets the job done. We’re just streamlining things for the hardworking folks of this country.”
The rebranding effort is reportedly being implemented nationwide, with highway signs, airport terminals, and government websites rushing to replace all references to the outdated “transportation” terminology.
Other federal agencies may soon follow this change. Insiders claim the Department of Agriculture might become the “Department of Griculture” to avoid any perceived favoritism towards vowels, while the Environmental Protection Agency is considering a bold shift to just “Mental Protection.”
As for the Department of Education, sources say it may be replaced entirely with a YouTube search bar.
* Image: Flickr.com/Adam Fagen