CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA – Apple Inc. decided updated the logo of its Stocks app after U.S. markets took a nosedive in response to President Donald Trump’s latest tariff spree.
The new icon, which previously featured a neat upward-trending graph, has been replaced with a jagged red line resembling a ski slope, or perhaps a heart rate monitor just before flatlining.
Users who opened the app this morning were met with what some are calling “the most honest update Apple has ever made.”
Experts say the update came just hours after global markets reacted to Trump’s announcement of tariffs on, well, everything. From European cars to Canadian maple syrup and even Antarctic penguins (it remains unclear how tariffs would apply to live animals), investors worldwide went into panic mode.
Wall Street traders reportedly stopped checking the Dow Jones altogether and instead turned to stress-eating avocado toast, while one analyst was spotted trying to barter Bitcoin for actual gold bars.
Apple, known for its sleek design choices and calculated PR moves, has remained silent on the matter. However, an anonymous employee leaked that a second update is already in the works: a version where the Stocks app icon simply features Tim Cook’s holding his head in with his hands.