LITTLE ROCK, AR – Arkansas farmers are reeling this week after what locals have dubbed the “FAFO-Tornado,” a rare political-weather event that tore through barns, silos, and balance sheets alike.
The FAFO, short for “Fuck Around, Find Out,” reportedly touched down shortly after farmers overwhelmingly voted for Donald Trump in last year’spresidental elections, only to discover tariffs promised by Trump had done more damage to soybean prices than any twister ever could.
Witnesses say the FAFO-tornado left behind cornfields twisted into the shape of giant middle fingers and hay bales rearranged to spell “LOL.”
Local farmer Clyde “Bubba” Jenkins told reporters he didn’t believe the warnings. “We thought the tariffs were just tough talk,” Jenkins admitted, standing in front of his collapsed chicken coop.
“Turns out China really doesn’t want to buy our soybeans at triple the price. Who knew?” Jenkins then paused, kicked a dented tractor, and muttered, “Guess we found out.”
Economists say the tariffs, combined with Mother Nature’s cruel sense of humor, have pushed many family farms to the brink of bankruptcy.
“It’s a perfect storm—literally and figuratively,” said Dr. Linda Hooper of the University of Arkansas. “You can’t plant corn in a field that looks like it was landscaped by a drunk deity, and you can’t sell soybeans to a market that just ghosted you.”
Despite the devastation, some farmers are staying optimistic. “We’re hoping the next storm will be called the ‘Stimulus Shower’ and drop some cash instead of hail,” said Jenkins.
Until then, many Arkansas farmers are left picking up the pieces, both of their barns and of their voting decisions, while muttering a phrase that’s quickly becoming the state motto: “Well, we sure FAFO’d.”
*Image: X.com/@AnnieForTruth