Moscow, Russia — More and more ordinary Russians are reportedly swapping their ruble notes for a more practical use. The country’s beleaguered currency has fallen so far in value that citizens are now using banknotes as an alternative to toilet paper, sparking a bizarre economic and hygienic trend.
“Why waste 120 rubles on a roll of toilet paper when I can use a 100-ruble note?” said Ivan Petrov, a mechanic from Saratov. “It’s softer, cheaper, and has a government seal of approval. Plus, it’s not like I can buy anything with it anyway.”
His neighbor, Svetlana Ivanova, nodded in agreement. “We’ve been joking for years that rubles aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. Turns out we were right.”
The trend appears to have taken hold as inflation spiraled out of control, with the ruble hitting an all-time low against major currencies. What once seemed unthinkable – a banknote being worth less than a square of tissue – is now a grim reality. Economists have dubbed this phenomenon as toilet-paper parity, though the Kremlin has yet to comment on the unusual use of its currency.
However, not everyone is thrilled. Environmental activists are raising concerns about the potential impact of flushing inked banknotes down the drain. “It’s bad enough our forests are being turned into rubles,” said eco-blogger Anna Volkov. “Now they’re clogging our pipes too?”
The Central Bank of Russia has yet to issue an official response, though rumors abound of a new polymer ruble designed to withstand “multiple wipes.”
Meanwhile, citizens are left to decide whether to stash their dwindling savings under the mattress or in the bathroom cabinet — whichever seems more practical.
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