MAR-A-LAGO, FLORRIDA – During a press conference held yesterday, President-elect Donald Trump unveiled his bold new vision to buy Greenland, the world largest island, from Denmark to transform Greenland into a “world-class Trump Winter Golf Resort.”
According to Trump’s words his interest in the icy territory isn’t just strategic—it’s personal. “Greenland is huge, tremendous land,” Trump said at a press conference, standing next to a giant map where Greenland was suspiciously colored gold.
No trees, no people, just a clean slate for the best golf resort
“I’ve seen the photos – no trees, no people, just a clean slate for the best golf resort the world has ever seen!” Trump explained.
When asked how the military might fit into these plans, Trump smiled and quipped, “They’ll secure the land—think of them as my construction team in camo.”
Trump went on to propose renaming Greenland as “TrumpLand Ice,” which he claimed was already trending on social media. “It’s catchy, isn’t it?” he said, flipping through a mock-up brochure for a luxury Arctic resort.
The planned amenities included glacier-view penthouses, an iceberg safari, and a Trump-branded thermal spa.
Critics have already expressed environmental concerns, noting that golfing on icebergs might accelerate melting. Trump dismissed these claims, stating, “Melting? Fake news! Greenland has so much ice, it’s practically giving it away. And if it melts a little? More water hazards – makes the game exciting!” He also hinted at plans for an adjacent resort featuring igloo suites with gold-plated snowmobiles.
Hastags TrumpLandIce and MakeGreenlandGreatAgain trending in social media
As of now, neither Denmark nor Greenland has commented on Trump’s latest announcement. However, social media is already buzzing, with hashtags like #TrumpLandIce and #MakeGreenlandGolfAgain trending.
* Image: Dall-E / Wikimedia commons cc-by-sa-2.0.
