THE ABOVE IMAGE CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES THAT THERE WAS NO SOROS IN WISCONSIN. THE IMAGE IS HERE JUST FOR THE ESTHETIC PURPOSES TO MAKE THIS ARTICLE SHINE AND GLARE, AND MAY IN ANY WAY BE RELATED TO WISCONSIN ELECTIONS
MADISON, WISCONSIN – In an unprecedented turn of events, MAGA supporters across Wisconsin have announced that they will not be storming the State Capitol following recent election results.
The decision came after a thorough investigation by Facebook memes and anonymous Telegram channels concluded that billionaire George Soros was not behind an alleged attempt to buy votes. Without his name attached to the controversy, outraged patriots admitted they just “weren’t feeling it” this time around.
“We’re ready to defend democracy at a moment’s notice,” said local activist and self-proclaimed constitutional expert Dale “Buck” Harrison. “But let’s be real—if Soros isn’t cutting the checks, what’s the point?”
“We only storm capitols when there’s a globalist puppet master pulling the strings, not when it’s just one of America’s richest oligarchs who might or might not have been trying to buy some votes,” Harrison explained.
Several protesters who had initially packed their tactical vests and souvenir January 6 flags reportedly unpacked them after hearing that Soros’ name was suspiciously absent from any mainstream conspiracy theories.
Prominent right-wing influencers quickly took to social media to calm the crowd, reassuring followers that the real fight would happen once Soros officially endorsed vote-buying efforts.
“Stay home, patriots! We don’t waste our energy on low-budget fraud,” one X (formerly Twitter) user posted. Another called for patience, saying, “We wait for the real deep-state funding before we take action. No Soros, no riot.”
As a result, Wisconsin officials reported an eerily peaceful post-election period, with no storming attempts, broken windows, or podium thefts. Analysts say this could set a new precedent for MAGA activism, where large-scale protests only occur when their favorite villains are properly credited.
State officials are said to be bracing for a potential riot if Soros so much as sneezes in the direction of future elections.
* Image: X.com/@DarthPutinKGB