WASHINGTON, D.C. – Cybersecurity experts are confused and Danish diplomats concerned, because thousands of Americans have reportedly signed up for the encrypted messaging app Signal this week.
Allegedly people started to sign up in masses to ensure their spot in a top-secret group chat run by the U.S. Defense Minister Pete Hegseth, titled “Totally Not a Greenland Invasion”.
According to sources close to the matter (and several blurry screenshots leaked by a guy who “definitely wasn’t supposed to be in the chat”), Hegseth has been quietly recruiting eager volunteers under the guise of “a casual outdoor adventure.”
The chat reportedly includes pinned messages like “Bring your own winter gear” and “Anyone know if Denmark has nukes?”, which, experts say, suggests that someone forgot to use incognito mode before making strategic decisions.
Despite repeated assurances from Hegseth that the chat is “just a group of patriots discussing glaciers”, White House officials have reportedly asked him to “log off for a while.”
Meanwhile, Denmark has responded with a strongly worded statement that reads simply, “Again?”
* Image: heute.at according to cc by 4.0