NUUK, GREENLAND – Last night, residents of Greenland could enjoy a natural phenomenon that scientists are calling “the most emotionally expressive aurora borealis ever recorded.”
The usually elegant ribbons of green and purple light reportedly rearranged themselves into a perfectly legible, all-caps message across the Arctic sky: “F*CK OFF TRUMP.”
Locals confirmed the letters were visible for nearly 20 minutes, giving ample time for photographs, confused reindeer reactions, and at least one polar bear appearing to nod in agreement.
Experts at the Greenland Institute of Things We Did Not Expect tried to explain the phenomenon using complex terminology like “solar flares,” “geomagnetic storms,” and “honestly, we have no idea.”
One astrophysicist admitted the aurora usually produces abstract shapes, not profanity with impeccable kerning. “But last night the spacing was flawless,” she said. “If the Sun did this on purpose, it clearly hired a graphic designer.”
Tourists scrambled outside in pajamas and parkas, live-streaming the sky while arguing whether the aurora had free speech rights.
Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists online claimed the message was either a secret NATO weapon, a deep-state projection, or proof that the universe itself has finally lost patience.
By morning, the aurora had faded, leaving behind only silence, stunning photos, and a renewed debate about whether celestial phenomena can be considered political commentary.
Greenland’s tourism board has already updated its slogan to: “Come for the ice. Stay because the sky might insult someone.”
*Image: X.com/@tindale_hayley