WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has unveiled an unexpected countermeasure against Canada’s recent tariffs on U.S. imports: the immediate deportation of Canadian-born pop star Justin Bieber.
Speaking at a hastily arranged press conference at he White House, Trump declared, “Canada wants to play hardball with tariffs? Fine. We’re sending Bieber back. Effective immediately. No more ‘Baby, baby, baby, oh’ for America!”
Trump, who has long had a love-hate relationship with Canada – praising their maple syrup but questioning their use of the letter “u” in words like “colour” – insisted that this move was necessary.
“Frankly, folks, it’s a tremendous idea. We were generous, we let him in, but they hit us with totally unreasonable tariffs. Very unfair. Now we’re hitting back with Bieber,” Trump stated, to the delight of a handful of elderly supporters who appeared to be unsure of who Bieber was.
As the situation unfolds, experts predict this could trigger an all-out celebrity trade war, with Canada threatening to revoke America’s Ryan Reynolds privileges in response.
Sources inside the White House suggest he may escalate matters further by offering Canada an ultimatum: accept Bieber back permanently, or risk the sudden deportation of Nickelback.
* Image: freemalaysiatoday.com