WASHINGTON, D.C. – Sources close to President Donald J. Trump have revealed a top-secret plan to amend the U.S. Constitution, ensuring that only one man can ever hold the office of President: Donald J. Trump himself.
The proposed amendment, reportedly titled the “Trump-eternal Clause,” would officially declare all future elections “unnecessary, rigged, and totally overrated.”
According to insiders, the legal team working on the amendment consists of a mix of former reality TV producers, golf caddies, and a lawyer who once defended a parking ticket in Atlantic City.
“Look, the Constitution is very old. Very outdated. Some say it’s the worst. Everyone agrees,” Trump allegedly told reporters in the White House. “So we fix it. We make it Trump. Forever. No one does amendments better than me!”
Critics have called the proposal “absurd,” “a direct attack on democracy,” and “more terrifying than Trump’s dance moves.”
However, supporters argue that it simplifies the election process, saves taxpayer money, and ensures America is always run by “a man who knows the best words.” When asked about the amendment’s legality, Trump’s legal team reportedly responded, “Legality is for losers,” before rushing off to book their next court date.
While the plan faces significant hurdles, such as Congress, the Supreme Court, and basic common sense, Trump remains confident.
“They told me I couldn’t be president the first time, and look what happened! They told me I couldn’t be president for the second time, and voila, here I am again! So get ready, folks, because this is gonna be HUGE!” he declared, before announcing a new line of golden “Forever President” merchandise.
* Image: Flickr.com/TrumpWhiteHouseArchived