WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump announced today that U.S: will impose a 3500% import tariff on all Norwegian goods starting Tuesday, October 14, 2025.
The White House stated the move was a “measured and proportionate response” to what it called Norway’s “repeated and outrageous refusal” to not award President Donald Trump the Nobel Peace Prize.
Officials added that the tariffs would remain “until justice, in the form of a gold medal and a round of polite applause in Oslo, is finally served.”
According to sources, the tariffs will target key Norwegian exports such as salmon, electric cars, and those little knitted sweaters people pretend to like at Christmas.
“The President has been patient long enough,” said one senior aide. “He brought peace to the Middle East, the Korean Peninsula, and several neighborhood barbecues. What more does Norway need – an interpretive dance?”
The Norwegian government responded with confusion, noting that the Nobel Peace Prize is awarded by an independent committee and not the state itself.
“We do not control the Nobel Committee,” said a visibly exhausted spokesperson. “Also, 3500%? Is that even mathematically sound?” Meanwhile, local salmon farmers reportedly began googling “how to move to Sweden.”
In the U.S., reactions have been mixed. Supporters praised the decision as “a bold stand against Scandinavian arrogance,” while critics pointed out that most Americans only learned this week that Norway exists outside of Frozen.
Economists warned of potential blowback, with one analyst saying, “If this escalates, we could see a global shortage of smoked fish and smug neutrality by Christmas.”
*Image: Ai-generated