WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fox News alumnus and self-proclaimed truth seeker Tucker Carlson has unveiled his brand-new definition of the word “dictator,” declaring that it only applies to leaders who have been in power for exactly five years.
“If you rule for six years or more, you’re just a committed public servant,” Carlson explained, staring intensely into the camera. “And if you last for 26? Well, that’s just called stability.”
This groundbreaking revelation came during a segment where Carlson defended Russian President Vladimir Putin and Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenko, both of whom have held power since the 1990s. That makes more than 20 years!
“You can’t call someone a dictator just because they keep winning elections by 80% margins,” Carson scoffed. “That’s democracy – just with extra enthusiasm!”
He then questioned why Western leaders, who change every few years, lack the same kind of job security. “Maybe it’s because they’re weak,” he mused.
Critics, including actual political scientists, pointed out that Carlson’s definition conveniently exempts some of the world’s most notorious strongmen while still allowing him to call any U.S. president he dislikes a ‘wannabe dictator.’
Carlson dismissed these concerns as “woke math” and instead insisted that George Washington, who stepped down voluntarily after eight years, was actually the real dictator all along. “Think about it,” he said. “The guy literally had ‘general’ in his name.”
* Image: X.com feed / Volodymyr Tretyak