KYIV, UKRAINE – In a bold geopolitical maneuver, Ukrainian officials have announced plans to officially rename the country “New Greenland” in a bid to confuse American law-makers and secure U.S. military bases in Ukraine.
The strategy, which insiders are calling “Operation Arctic Shield,” is based on a well known fact about the average American’s poor knowledge of geography.
Such a move would help to rebrand Ukraine as a strategic U.S. territory in need of protection from Russian aggression.
“We realized that Americans are very protective of Greenland, even though most of them couldn’t find it on a map,” said Ukrainian officials. “So why not give them a New Greenland they can actually locate – right in Eastern Europe? It’s a win-win: we get the bases, and they get to defend ‘Greenland’ from Russia.”
U.S. officials have reportedly reacted with confusion, with some in Congress already drafting emergency funding bills for the “newly endangered Arctic territory.”
The Kremlin has dismissed the move as “Western trickery,” but experts warn that if Ukraine follows through, it could lead to further escalation.
* Image: Wikimedia commons
