LIBERTY ISLAND, NEW YORK – The true symbol of New York city, Statue of Liberty, announced early Friday morning that she is officially relocating to Florida.
The declaration came shortly after Zohran Mamdani won the New York City mayoral election, a result Lady Liberty reportedly greeted with “a polite clap and immediate desire for warmer weather.”
Witnesses claim she was seen side-eyeing the East River before whispering, “I’ve stood here for 138 years. I’ve earned a beachfront.”
Port Authority officials, still adjusting to the concept of a 300-foot monument packing her bags, confirmed that Lady Liberty enlisted a tugboat convoy for the move.
According to sources close to the situation, she cited humidity levels, lower property taxes, and “a spiritual calling toward pastel-colored retirement communities” as the primary reasons for her departure.
Residents of Liberty Island expressed shock, though many admitted they could understand wanting to escape the MTA.
Meanwhile, Florida politicians welcomed the statue with open arms and a ceremonial key shaped like an orange.
Governorial spokespeople praised her decision, noting that Lady Liberty “brings a touch of northern sophistication, plus her own lighting,” which conveniently cuts down on infrastructure costs.
Real estate developers have already proposed a new “Liberty Landing” condo complex, featuring waterfront views and absolutely no HOA rules regulating torch usage.
Back in New York, Mayor-elect Mamdani responded with calm optimism, promising to “respect her journey” and offering to send sunscreen in bulk.
City officials are considering temporary replacements, including a giant pigeon, a bagel with arms, or simply erecting a massive sign reading “BRB.”
For now, New Yorkers can only watch the horizon as their iconic symbol floats steadily southward, allegedly humming the “New York, New York” theme song and looking forward to hurricane season with a confidence only a bronze titan can possess.
*Image: AI-generated