WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking turn of events, Director of National Defense Tulsi Gabbard has displayed such a profound memory lapse during a Senate hearing last week that even political analysts are beginning to wonder if she’s secretly competing for a Guinness World Record in forgetfulness.
When questioned about a series of national security decisions, Gabbard responded several times with the phrase, “I do not remember,” setting a new benchmark for selective amnesia in government proceedings.
Senators on both sides of the aisle were left bewildered. “This makes Joe Biden’s memory look photographic by comparison,” quipped Senator Tom Cotton. “At one point, she even forgot whether she had already said ‘I don’t remember'”.
The White House has since reassured the public that Gabbard’s memory is “perfectly functional” and that she simply prefers to “live in the moment.”
Meanwhile, political insiders speculate that her next career move could involve starring in the next “Men in Black” movie, assuming she remembers to show up for the audition.
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