WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented show of symbolic tribute, the White House announced Friday that it would be lowering Donald Trump’s face to half-mast in honor of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk.
Officials clarified that while the U.S. flag will lowered half mast, the oversized banner featuring Trump’s smiling head — normally draped across the West Wing like a Macy’s parade balloon — would also be gently cranked down the pole until it drooped at a “solemn but still patriotic” angle.
Press Secretary explained the decision at the daily briefing. “This is a traditional American gesture of respect,” she said.
“When a conservative podcast host of great importance passes away, it is only fitting that the 38-foot vinyl face of Donald J. Trump be lowered halfway, so the nation may reflect on his legacy — and Charlie Kirk’s memory.”
The ceremony drew a small but passionate crowd on the White House lawn. Witnesses reported muffled gasps as Trump’s enormous visage — lips pursed, eyebrows frozen mid-squint — descended slowly, the rope squeaking under the weight of imported vinyl.
“It’s beautiful,” one supporter whispered. “Almost like watching the moon set, if the moon sold commemorative Bibles.”
Another attendee attempted to salute but became disoriented, unsure whether proper etiquette required facing the lowered Trump face or the actual flag still flying above it.
Critics, however, were quick to mock the spectacle. “Lowering Trump’s face doesn’t make sense,” said one constitutional scholar. “Although, to be fair, neither does printing it on a 38-foot tarp and hoisting it up every morning.”
Still, the White House remained firm in its decision, noting that the face would be returned to full mast at sunrise, “unless another conservative podcaster does something deserving of national reverence — like tweeting about gas prices.”
*Image: X.com/@benny_uncl57167