MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Russian engineers working at the “Institute for Eternal Stability and Occasional Explosions” unveiled their newest breakthrough: a nuclear-powered humanoid Putin designed to ensure the president can rule Russia indefinitely – even if the original version gets tired, retires, or simply wants more time to practice shirtless horseback riding.
According to lead engineer Ivan Ivanov, the android – nicknamed Putinman-2: The Reignition – is powered by a “small, definitely safe, probably not humming” nuclear core.
“This technological marvel can deliver speeches, pose for photo ops, and glare intimidatingly at journalists for up to 500 years,” Ivanov explained while technicians in hazmat suits attempted to stop the robot from annexing the vodka bottle in the kitchen fridge.
The artificial leader reportedly looks identical to the real Putin, except for a faint green glow during moments of high political tension.
Engineers claim the double is programmed with advanced diplomatic algorithms, including “Stare of Disapproval,” “Strategic Shirt Removal,” and “Emergency Bear Riding Mode.”
When asked if foreign governments would be able to tell the difference, Ivanov replied, “Only if they bring a Geiger counter.”
The Kremlin has neither confirmed nor denied the robot’s deployment, though citizens have already reported sightings of “hyper-energetic Putins” around Moscow, each delivering speeches in different districts at the same time.
State TV dismissed the rumors as “Western propaganda,” insisting the president is simply “multitasking more efficiently than usual.”
See the first live demonstration of nuclear-powered humanoid Putin here: