WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stunning development that has left historians rubbing their remaining ears in disbelief, 19th-century painter Vincent van Gogh reportedly emerged from a swirling time vortex on Tuesday to personally hand over his famously severed ear to President Donald Trump.
According to witnesses, the ear was carefully wrapped in a napkin from a Parisian café and presented as “a tremendous ear, really one of the best,” while van Gogh nodded solemnly and muttered something about finally finding someone who would truly appreciate it.
The White House confirmed the exchange, stating that President Trump praised the ear’s “bold texture” and “strong lines,” adding that it was “much better than modern art, which frankly is a disaster.”
Sources say Trump briefly considered displaying the ear in the Oval Office but ultimately decided it might distract from official meetings, especially since it kept trying to listen in on private conversations.
Art critics worldwide are divided on the gesture. Some argue it represents a powerful commentary on ego, legacy, and the cyclical nature of fame, while others believe van Gogh simply wanted the ear back out of circulation after more than a century of jokes.
The ear itself declined to comment, though insiders say it is relieved to finally be involved in contemporary politics, even if it still has no idea what anyone is actually saying.
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