WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House announced the opening of the Trophy Drop-Off Center, a facility where citizens can deliver all the awards, plaques, and golden statuettes they believe should belong to President Donald J. Trump.
“We wanted a safe, dignified place for people to bring their trophies,” said an unnamed White House aide. “Because let’s face it, he can’t possibly keep them all on his desk in the Oval Office.”
The center, located just off Pennsylvania Avenue, reportedly features a red carpet entrance, a velvet rope system, and even a photo booth for anyone who wants to snap a picture of their trophy before handing it over.
Visitors are encouraged to bring anything from Little League medals to high school debate championships or, in some cases, solid gold replica Oscars. “It’s all about recognizing greatness,” the aide added, “preferably yours, but also his.”
Staff at the Trophy Drop-Off Center have warned participants to prepare for emotional farewells, as many trophies are “extremely attached” to their current owners.
One local resident admitted tearfully, “I worked hard to win my office fantasy football championship. But I knew deep down it really belonged with our beloved President Trump.”
Officials also hinted at a special “Trophy of the Week” display, rotating the most impressive or most absurd donations in a high-profile showcase.
Critics argue the initiative might signal a new era of presidential narcissism, but White House spokespeople insist it’s “just good fun.”
As one staffer put it, “It’s about community. It’s about pride. And mostly, it’s about seeing how many people will really drive to D.C. just to hand him a trophy for breathing.”
*Image: AI-generated