NUUK, GREENLAND – The capital of Greenland has seen sudden influx of Latin American migrants during last weeks. Thousands of migrants are reportedly rushing toward Greenland after the US President Donald Trump has promised to unite Greenland to the United States.
The icy island nation, previously known for glaciers, polar bears, and not much else, has suddenly become ground zero for what experts are calling “the coldest immigration strategy ever attempted.”
According to completely serious sources who definitely exist, the arriving immigrants’ plan is simple: arrive in Greenland, wait for the US to take over Greenland and get automatically US citizenship.
“Once Greenland becomes the 51st state of the United States, your citizenship is automatic,” explained one migrant who arrived from Nicaragua, while Googling whether parkas can be used as flotation devices.
Several travelers expressed shock upon arrival that Greenland is not, in fact, green, nor does it have snny beaches for easygoing leisure time.
U.S. immigration officials responded with visible confusion, confirming that Greenland is neither a U.S. territory nor “close enough to count.”
Meanwhile, Greenlandic authorities say they were unprepared for the sudden influx and have run out of polite ways to explain that there will be granted no American citizenship for arriving immigrants.
Despite the setback, optimism remains high among the would-be Americans, many of whom insist the plan is still solid.
“Look, Columbus was wrong about geography too, and it worked out great for him,” said one traveler while attempting to build a snowman shaped like the Statue of Liberty.
At press time, thousands were still arriving, confident that if they just wait a bit more, the United States will eventually come to them.
*Image: AI-generated