WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise display of diplomatic coaching, Vice President JD Vance reportedly pulled President Donald Trump aside this week for what aides described as a “very serious conversation about manners.”
According to staff familiar with the meeting, Vance strongly suggested that when requesting additional anti-drone systems from Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to counter Iranian drones, Trump might consider “wearing a suit, asking nicely, and possibly even saying ‘thank you.’”
The advice, insiders say, was delivered with the careful tone usually reserved for explaining table etiquette to children in kindergartens.
White House sources claim the vice president even prepared a short script for the president to practice. “Something like: ‘Dear Volodymyr, we’d really appreciate those anti-drone systems, thank you very much,’” one aide said Vance suggested.
Trump reportedly paused for several seconds before asking whether the phrase “very, very tremendous drones, by the way” could be added somewhere in the request.
Vance allegedly responded that it might be best to keep the message “under one campaign rally.”
Officials say the biggest hurdle may be the suit. Trump was said to have asked if a jacket could be replaced with “something more comfortable, like a very successful golf shirt.”
Vance reportedly insisted the suit was important for diplomacy, explaining that world leaders tend to respond better when requests for military hardware are not delivered in attire commonly associated with tee times and fast-food drive-throughs.
By press time, aides confirmed that Trump had agreed to try the approach “once, maybe twice,” provided Zelenskyy understood that saying “thank you” did not constitute a binding precedent.
Meanwhile, Vance was reportedly preparing follow-up training sessions covering other advanced diplomatic techniques, including “waiting for the other person to finish speaking” and “not turning negotiations into a merchandise opportunity.”
*Image: AI-generated