WASHINGTON, D.C. – Four highly trained Americans finally achieved their lifelong dream: getting as far away as humanly possible from President Trump and his administration for a full 10 days.
After decades of rigorous preparation, simulations, and learning how to survive extreme environments, the Artemis II astronauts blasted off today on a lunar flyby mission widely described by insiders as “the ultimate unplug.”
According to sources close to the crew, the astronauts began their training years ago, initially under the impression they were preparing for deep-space exploration.
“It wasn’t until recently we realized the real mission objective,” one crew member reportedly said while strapping in. “Ten days. No Wi-Fi. No news alerts. No speeches. Just the cold, silent vacuum of space. Honestly, it’s the closest thing to peace we’ve seen in years.”
NASA officials insisted the mission remains focused on science and advancing human spaceflight, though they admitted morale among the astronauts has never been higher.
“We’ve run thousands of simulations,” said a flight director, “but we’ve never seen a crew this enthusiastic about total communication blackout. Usually they worry about system failures, but this time they’re worried President Donald Trump might accidentally reconnect them via some communication channel.”
As the spacecraft began its journey around the Moon, Americans back on Earth watched in awe, many expressing a mix of pride and envy.
“They trained their whole lives for this,” one citizen said, staring at the night sky. “Meanwhile, I can’t even get away from President Trump’s daily social media tweets for half a day.”
*Image: AI-generated